Re-evalute Who You Surround Yourself With

It's the second month of 2020 and I'm not surprised how quickly time has passed. It feels like 2019 was just a week ago. While sipping on my coffee this morning, I stumbled across this quote. Just to be honest, I don't get attached to quotes pretty easily. It takes a really good quote to catch my attention and this one did! Rewinding back to the short phases of my past year knocked some deep sense in my head!

For the past couple of months last year, I've been struggling with staying true to myself. I knew my identity and who I truly was but the people I surrounded myself with made me doubt my identity. During those months, I was left confused, unpeaceful, and I literally felt arrows poking down my chest. It was just terrible! It's hard to constantly care about people and be mindful of not hurting them or doing things that wouldn't disappoint them in any way when you aren't feeling yourself. And that's when ABUSE steps in. That's where you abuse yourself, your identity, your beliefs, and your stand just for the sake of pleasing people, friends, and relationships. When you don't know your purpose in a friendship or a relationship with people, you're either abusing your God-given identity or the other person. 

This is a parable in the book of Judges 9 and I love how it beautifully illustrates an example of how determined and passionate one can be when it knows their identity and stick by it. 

8 One day the trees went out to anoint a king for themselves. They said to the olive tree, ‘Be our king.’ 9“But the olive tree answered, ‘Should I give up my oil, by which both gods and humans are honored, to hold sway over the trees?’10 “Next, the trees said to the fig tree, ‘Come and be our king.’ 11 “But the fig tree replied, ‘Should I give up my fruit, so good and sweet, to hold sway over the trees?’ 12 “Then the trees said to the vine, ‘Come and be our king.’ 13 “But the vine answered, ‘Should I give up my wine, which cheers both gods and humans, to hold sway over the trees?’

Think about it! Should you give up who are you are for the sake of a title? A friend? A relationship? The olive tree, the fig tree, and the vine did not compromise their identity to please people. Now, here's what I did. I had to distance myself, turn down, and cut off ties that were draining me, ties that weren't helping me grow, ties that didn't offer peace. This wasn't easy for me to just cut off people that were toxic for me and I get it, it might not be easy for you too. But that's where maturity and growth develop when you're strong and disciplined enough to not let your weakness overpower you. God's grace is free and He willingly gives it to those who ask for it. Reevaluate your relationships with people. If it bends your stand, your belief, and your identity, then you better click on that pause button and turn your direction. Find yourself again and fill that vessel of yours with things that are true, pure, lovely and good. And let your weakness and mistakes be your strongest TESTIMONY!